[Please note: The client in question has not been named in full and identifying details have been redacted. This blog is offered in good faith as a transparent account to balance a public review that cannot be publicly responded to on the originating platform.]

It’s now just past 1am on April 1st, and I’ve just spent over two and a half hours combing through screenshots, timestamping messages, and attempting to process the emotional weight of what I believe is cognitive dissonance—between ‘Lily the provider’ and the person I truly am. This wasn’t a mischaracterisation of me personally, but rather what happens when someone experiences cognitive dissonance between what they expect a provider to be and what they encounter in someone like me. Stan’s memory wasn’t outright false—it was sly. He picked out partial truths and arranged them just so, to form an optical illusion. One that conveniently casts me as someone acting out of alignment with Lily’s long-standing M.O. So let’s get to it.

Text Messages for Transparency

Please note that I will ad the text messages for transparency in my gallery by Saturday evening as this is the only place suitable. I have run out of time this evening. I shall delete them in a couple of weeks.

Here is the review posted by a former client on IVY:
“Saw Lily once, no complaints. Attempting to book a second time though was very disappointing. She happily took my $260 deposit, she cancelled on me twice, and then refused to return the deposit when attempting to re-schedule a 3rd time was no longer practical. She became very manipulative very quickly and set off many red flag warnings but sadly I had already handed over my money. Book and pay that deposit at your own risk so my loss doesn’t become yours too.”

I’ve chosen not to keep this review visible on IVYIV because IVY doesn’t seem to allow providers to respond underneath, which means the reader only sees one angle. So, in the spirit of transparency, I’ve placed the review here—on my own platform—where it can be fairly dissected.

Let’s begin shall we?

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1. “She happily took my deposit.”
   Let’s pause there. I don’t recall checking my bank account. I don’t do a dance when deposits come in. I vaguely remember he sent a screenshot, and I took his word for it. The notion that I ‘happily’ pocketed the money is pure projection and suggests a mood or motive that’s unfounded. It’s not just inaccurate—it’s unfair.
2. “Cancelled on me twice.”
   Yes, that part is true. I cancelled twice. On both occasions, I was transparent about my reasons. The first time, I was emotionally unwell—and I said so. I don’t believe in lying to clients, nor giving vague ‘something came up’ excuses. I’ve found that direct honesty, paired with an apology, is respected by 99% of my clientele. He did offer empathy the first time—he spoke of mental wellness and was understanding, although I also suspect that was partly because he needed a medical check before catching the train up. Still, he was fine about it and showed care. That said, he later implied honesty wasn’t enough.
   The second time, I cancelled due to a flood emergency affecting multiple family members in NSW and QLD. I didn’t say “family emergency” as a cliché—I listed every person I was in contact with. I volunteered my time, unpaid, to help people affected. That might not matter to him. But to readers with a conscience, perhaps it does.
   And for the record, I’ve never gone down the route of ‘Slam and Dunk have both tragically passed—again’ as my get-out-of-an-appointment free card. Trust me, if I wanted to play the ‘mystery pet tragedy’ card, Slam and Dunk would have each died about twenty times—coincidentally on perfect Bells Beach surf days. But I don’t roll like that. I tell the truth, even when it’s messy.

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The Missed Part He Doesn’t Mention

I offered to still do the appointment on the very same weekend (text timestamped March 7, 6:08pm). He declined. I also clearly stated that I prefer to handle any further conversation via phone—not as a power play, but because I had intended to offer him an upgrade due to the inconvenience of the two cancellations. I wanted to explain that personally—and yes, I’ll admit it, I also wanted to hear the ‘thank you.’ A little grace goes a long way. Anyone who’s run a business knows that a short conversation can spare 25 back-and-forth texts and emotional misfires.

But let’s clarify: while he refused to call me, it was me who stopped reading his messages. Every time he texted, I didn’t open them—I replied immediately, requesting a call. That’s been my longstanding practice, not something invented in the moment. He attempted to twist that boundary as manipulation, but my boundaries have been consistent across the board. I almost never compromise on them. At the time, I didn’t even see this as a situation—I was continuing to request he respect my long-standing business practices, as I always do.

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“She became very manipulative very quickly.”
No, I asked for a phone call to clarify what I still assumed was a reschedule. I wasn’t even aware it had become a complaint while continuing to ignore my clearly stated boundary. So again, I responded by immediately requesting a phone call. The same man who previously said:
“No stress about re-scheduling our appointment, you can let me know when you’re in the right position to take bookings again.”
Now positions me as a red flag. That’s not just contradictory—it’s manipulative. But in fairness, I wasn’t aware what his actual issue was at that point—I hadn’t read his texts. I presumed he was rescheduling, and that we’d talk it through properly once we were on the phone.
And let’s talk about manipulation. If a provider said to a man, “I’m no longer continuing this conversation unless we speak in person,” the world would cry coercion. But if I, a provider, say I prefer to speak on the phone, I’m controlling? That’s some gendered gymnastics right there.

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Double Standards in the Industry
Let’s get real: both clients and providers cancel. But only one party gets scrutinised for it. Often we’re expected to be available, flawless, and emotionally neutral. Ladies, especially on platforms like this, operate under scrutiny akin to Olympic judges with a grudge. One misstep? You’re manipulative. One human moment? You’re a scammer.
But imagine if a man—after two cancelled dates—received a final offer to still meet, turned it down, refused to speak about it, ignored the woman’s messages, then demanded a refund, and posted a public complaint. At no point did I say, ‘No, you can’t get your refund.’ All he has to do is pick up the phone. That’s it. A call. But he thus far has chosen not to—and if that’s pride, that’s on him. What I’m unwilling to do is bend to manipulation or pressure that disregards the boundaries I’ve upheld with consistency and clarity for years.
Would he be seen as composed? As ethical? Or as entitled?

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The Truth About Boundaries
I have had the same approach since the beginning. If a client has a complaint or an emotionally charged concern, I won’t usually handle it via text. That’s my boundary. I’ve had clients thank me for this policy—it keeps things human. And it’s to protect both parties. Because when I’m not mentally and emotionally present, it affects my service. And I care enough not to fake it.
We as providers are wholly subject to completely fabricated stories, revenge narratives, and misrepresented business practices. It’s incredibly dehumanising to be reviewed—publicly—by clients who know full well we cannot always respond or defend ourselves. I don’t know how other providers cope with this, but personally, I protect myself by not going looking. I’ve seen what trolls and mean-spirited individuals are capable of writing—and how much damage it causes.
In fact, I often wonder what would happen if we could leave reviews on clients. Because let me tell you—I’ve never once insulted a client’s body, performance, or way of doing sex. Ever. And I’ve always done two things, without fail:

1. Offer a compliment—genuine and earned. Everyone has something good about them.
2. Never humiliate someone’s body or bedroom style. Why? Because when it comes to our bodies and how we do sex, we’re all just one comment away from a spiral.
   Savvy rule of thumb? Don’t mock the sauce if you were still licking the plate.

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What He Did Receive
Let’s also acknowledge this: he received a full 2-hour appointment on his first booking, with 20 minutes of overtime (which I never do). He travelled a long way, and I wanted to honour that effort. I gave generously of my time. No complaints were raised then.
He was keen to return. His own words, “can’t come soon enough.”
That doesn’t sound like a man who was initially dissatisfied.

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Let’s Talk Refunds
Here’s where I open it up to you, the readers. But before you weigh in, I want you to understand the full scope of what this has taken. I’ve had to leave the platform where the review was posted (IVY), move this entire situation onto my own website, screenshot and redact everything to protect his identity, carefully reconstruct the timeline, and sit in this negative headspace just to be able to deconstruct every angle of what happened. That’s not a quick click. That’s not even just a “blog.” That’s over two and a half hours of my night spent in something emotionally taxing and utterly unnecessary—because one man couldn’t pick up a phone.

That’s emotional labour. And if you think it doesn’t cost energy, you’re not paying attention.
What I’ve just had to do is respond to skewed storytelling crafted with cherry-picked detail, strategically placed implication, and just enough credibility to feel legitimate. Stan may not be a liar, but he’s a cherry-picker of facts with the finesse of a five-star Michelin chef making a sundae out of suspicion. All while I’ve told the truth—directly, transparently, and without venom.
So:
• Given what you’ve seen in the screenshots and this breakdown, my belief is firstly – he absolutely MUST stick to my request to call me if there is anything that needs a discussion. Period. He is not to be a “first exception.”

• What responsibility do clients have when it comes to participating in that dialogue?
• Given what you’ve seen in the screenshots and this breakdown, how much of a refund (if any) do you think is fair?
• Do you agree or disagree? Is this fair? Think to your own business. A lawyer. An Accountant. A hairdresser. Does any business need to cave to bullying?
• What responsibility do clients have when it comes to participating in that dialogue?

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Final Thoughts
I’m tired. Tired of the projection. Tired of being painted with traits that aren’t mine and intentions I never held.
I’ve always tried to show that some of us run our businesses ethically. That we care.

But I ask for the same transparency and humanity in return.
To the gentleman in question—I truly hope your circumstances improve. But I won’t be shamed for telling the truth.
And I won’t apologise for having boundaries.

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I know you’re reading, even if you’re quiet.
And to the silent frequent flyers—yes, I know you’ve read every word. You always do. If you’re nodding in quiet agreement, that counts too.” ✈️😉

You’re welcome to comment respectfully below.
With integrity and backbone,
Lily Lavine Captain, LL Airways